Update on as-yet-untitled ornithological work
Posted by CM under Ornithology on Sat 4 Nov 2006
have written chapter one (mostly). I have also written chapter—um, maybe seventeen. Mostly.
There is a school of thought that says that one shouldn’t revise chapter one until well after one was written chapter two, and likely chapters two, three, four, five and six. And to some extent, I imagine that major revisions will likely wait until I have a full manuscript draft. But I can’t help but feel that this chapter one doesn’t quite do it. There are some bits that are left wanting, and for some reason, I can’t adequately draft on computer. I need to print off a copy and make changes by hand.
Do I ignore the advice of what seems like every author there is and do so? Or do I doggedly do things my way, and continue to spin my wheels on my as-yet incomplete chapter one? I think that I doggedly do things my way.
The other thing is this: I am afraid that in order to do chapter one effectively, I’m going to have to make a few jumps between heads. I am trying to mark out those jumps as explicitly as I can, so that there can be no question about what I’ve done. But will that be horrendously confusing? My other alternatives appear to be:
- Overlapping times: Start with heroine, until about two minutes after she meets hero; jump to hero’s head, about two minutes before he meets the heroine. This has one jump, but I think that the time-jumping might well be more confusing. And I’m simplifying here; I’d have to head-and-time jump a few times.
- Don’t let you see what’s going on in the heroine’s head when they both meet. But the problem with that is that what’s going on in her head—or, specifically, the connection between what she’s thinking and what comes out of her mouth—is a major theme.
- Don’t let you see what’s going on in the hero’s head when they first meet. Again, if I don’t show his initial reaction—and his initial assessment of her—the conflict that crops up the next time they meet will seem rather unbelievable. He thinks she’s something other than what she is, and it’s that initial misapprehension that leads him to talk to her as he does.
- I can’t solve problem two or three by having the hero and heroine mention their thoughts in the course of conversation. The heroine is acting … not out of character, shall we say, but out of her normal mode of things, and wouldn’t want to give that away. And the hero wouldn’t share anything so personal or embarrassing, particularly when he wouldn’t think it relevant (because of aforementioned mistaken initial assessment).
Other interesting discoveries: I prefer names that start with hard consonants and contain Rs and Ls.









November 5th, 2006 at 6:46 am
Math??? You’re making me do math to post to your blog CM?? If your comments are down, it’s the math. Really. LOL!
Okay, my MS is currently at my readers and I do have a few places where I backtrack. And guess what? At least one reader has come back to me with “this is confusing?The timeline is out of wack.” Sigh. So, probably that backtracking will have to go.
Good luck on the writing!
moon
November 6th, 2006 at 9:40 am
I keep hitting on pov selection problems at the beginning of mine, too. My answer has been thus far to minimize how much time I spend stewing about it and to try to move on until I have a full draft to work with. I suspect that I’m going to find story logic is at fault in the end, but I won’t know it til I *get* to the end.
Some thoughts about how to troubleshoot…
Can you use body language clues to connect the dots and avoid the overlapping timeframes, then do a pov change that’s to spec (clearly marked, etc.) from one to the other? (#4 above)
Can you add some material early on (like, the first couple of paras of the opening, since it’s thematic for you) that gives an indication that she’s (become?) good at lying to herself (#2 above), and then echo something from those paragraphs where the problem happens with the hero-interaction, to clue the reader in that what she says and what she thinks are NOT the same at all? Or reverse it, let us stay in her head, but give the hero a similar treatment (to deal with #3 above)
Could you make judicious and sparing use of either omniscient or deep pov to get the connections that you need the reader to make?
That’s all that occurs to me at the moment, but perhaps one of those will do the trick? The time-slip thing inevitably confuses me as a reader, when I encounter it, and I do think eventually you’ll have to find a way to handle the problem without it in the end.
November 6th, 2006 at 3:09 pm
Math, indeed.
And here I am, confused because I have 3 chapter 10s in my manuscript! Yes, I can count. I’m just in the process of revising on top of a revision.
I would suggest NOT writing the way I’m writing my WIP. I started out with an outline and wrote about 1/2 the book. THEN, realized that it wasn’t working, but could work very well if I rewrote the heroine’s backstory. So, I’m having to trace back all my backstory sprinkles and make sure they reflect the current story. Boy, there sure is something to be said in defense of that backstory info dump. . . it would sure make revising the story a heck of a lot easier!
Good luck with Chapter One. . . I’m a little confused about your confusion — hope you can work it out without too much head hopping!