Date: Tue, 7 Nov 2006 19:31:59 -0800 (PST)
From: The Easy Rider
Subject: Rogue Male (P&T) (fwd)

Another one.

Ciao.  AK

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, 22 Oct 1997 01:00:27 -0700 (PDT)
From: The Easy Rider 
To: Easy Rider Gag List 
Subject: Rogue Male (P&T)

From: The Big Ukrainian

    Are You an Unreconstructed, Right-on, Rogue Male
       Or a Delivery Boy of the New Male Order?
            Are You a Man or a Louse?
                 Find Out Below.

1. A woman whispers "Do me now, big boy..." in your ear. She
   is obviously:  

a) Short sighted.  
b) Attempting to overcome a lack of self-esteem through
   meaningless sexual gratification.
c) Begging for it.
d) A recording.

2. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to

a) Sex.
b) Fucking.
c) Enclosure.
d) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town.

3. You should make love to a woman for the first time only
   after you've both shared:  

a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual
b) Blood-test results.
c) A cab.
d) Five tequila slammers.

4. You time your orgasm so that:

a) Your partner climaxes first.
b) You both climax simultaneously.
c) The director can set up for a close-up.
d) You don't miss Sportsnight.

5. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

a) Strictly for cats.
b) Healthy, creative love-play.
c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree
d) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find
   out about. 

6. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had
   sex with is: 

a) The best part of the experience.
b) The second best part of the experience.
c) A loathsome chore.
d) $100 extra.

7. Your girlfriend says she's gained two kilos in weight in
   the last month.  You tell her that it is:

a) No concern of yours.
b) No barrier to her finding a new boyfriend.
c) No problem - she can join your gym.
d) A conservative estimate.

8. Today's sensitive, caring man is:

a) An ideal to which you aspire.
b) A myth.
c) An oxymoron.
d) A moron.

9. A prostitute is:

a) A victim of male dominated society and social oppression. 
b) Someone who provides an essential service.
c) A cheap date.
d) A valued employee.

10. A wife is:

a) A victim of male dominated society and social oppression.
b) Someone who provides an essential service.
c) A cheap date.
d) A valued employee.

11. Masturbation is:

a) Sex with someone you love.
b) A healthy exploration of your erogenous zones.
c) A team sport.
d) A cheap date.

12. It is the day after a one-night stand. Do you:

a) Call her.
b) Call your lawyer.
c) Call your doctor.
d) Call your wife.

13. Which of the following lines best fits into your ideal role-
    playing sexual fantasy:

a) "Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a damn..."
b) "I've got a nasty swelling down here, Nurse..."
c) "You're a lovely, fluffy little sheep...."
d) "Another consonant please, Carol...."

14. Foreplay is to sex as:

a) Priming is to painting.
b) Appetizer is to entree.
c) Trailer is to feature.
d) A queue is to an amusement park ride.

15. The slogan that sums up your sexual mores is:

a) Free Lorena Bobbitt.
b) Free Mike Tyson.
c) Free Willy.
d) Free condom with this survey.

16. Your local Mayor is involved in a lurid sex scandal. You

a) Outraged.
b) Implicated.
c) Jealous.
d) Never going to vote anyway.

17. Which of the following are you most likely to find
    yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "Welcome to Dumpsville.  Population: you."
c) "I'm not in right now.  Please leave a message after the
d) "Keep the change."

18. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a)  Is uptight and a waste of time.
b)  Probably needs a little more time before she can cope
    with that sort of intimacy.  
c)  May need glasses.  
d)  Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first